Our conclusion was that is should have orignally been named the 'Bell End'.
Now, before I go any further, I must warn the faint of heart to look away right now while I explain these two words uttered in this order, in UK English.
'Bell End' is a quaint coloquialism from the British Isles, used to refer to a person resembling - at least intellectually if not physically - the top inch (or more) of a man's penis (in particular an erect one). 'Tis verily a less than flattering nickname for a buffoon, an idiot, a paltroon or indeed, any kind of significant waste of DNA. Most criminals, for example, are Bell Ends. People who cut you off in traffic are Bell Ends, and the folks who arrive (in a packed car of similarly afflicted idiots) at the drive-thru speaker with NO idea what they want to eat or drink, may just be the biggest Bell Ends of all. You get the idea. It's a slang term to (figuratively) get your teeth into...
The conversation rapidly deteriorated, halted as we were by the usual slow, fifteen kilometere-long train passing across our path. The following tells its own tale, and raises some serious character flaws. I have decided not to append our names to individual remarks, so that we do not find ourselves skewered by the internet's moralistic...um...Bell Ends.
"So would you ever admit to owning a Bell End?"
"If the phone rang, you might have to tell someone that you were in the middle of washing your Bell End..."
"...or polishing your Bell End..."
"Or, what if some spiteful little toad scraped a key all the way along your Bell End?"
"Ouch, I'd have a nasty scratch on my Bell End."
"It could be worse - I might run my Bell End into a brick wall...or a Blackberry bush...or run into the back of someone's car with my Bell End."
"You might have to fill the hole in your Bell End."
"Nasty. Or on the bright side, give your Bell End a Lube job."
"If you really liked it, you could kiss your Bell End every morning before you used it."
"I might be very proud of my Bell End."
"Bell End maintenance might be expensive, but very necessary."
"Then of course there would be the awkward moment when you drove your Bell End into a tunnel."
"No matter what, it's important to keep your Bell End clean."
"It's important to keep control of your Bell End in adverse weather conditions."
"Have you prepared your Bell End for winter?"
"I just hope that we never have to watch the neighbour wash and polish his Bell End on his driveway."
"Are all Bell Ends purple?"
"I'd have to respect the man with a turbo Bell End, though."
Mercifully, the train passed, and our attention was diverted from this crucial matter by the sudden appearance of a very odd shaped woman riding an electric pedal cycle downhill...
These are the important discussions in life; the moments when relationships are not only forged but renewed and confirmed...sometimes it's fun to regress to being eleven years old...